I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
