This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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