Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
