is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
