It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize