fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize