Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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