I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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