let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
