Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
