I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
