I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
