Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
