Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
