I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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