Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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