I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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