just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize