Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
