I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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