I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
