so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
