I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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