What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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