Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
