Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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