I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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