Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
