if i can run in heels then i can drive
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
