I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
time to smoke my breakfast
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
