Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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