hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize