i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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