I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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