Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
