Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
