Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
