Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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