one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
These tits shall not be calmed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
