Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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