That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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