Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Welp...herpes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
