she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
