I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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