it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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