Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
