There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize