life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
