You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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