I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
