I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
