he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
