It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
