did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
