Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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