i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
