So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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